Chasing Kisses
by Valie
Summary: Another fic for 'The Five Things Challenge' over at HPFC. Five times Draco shouldn't have kissed Harry. My first slash in a long time! woot! Harry/Draco Slashy


**A/N:** Written for Cuban Sombrero Gal's _'The Five Things Challenge'_. My second fic for this challenge, the first being _It's Trivial_. Wow, I haven't written slash in a while now and I have to admit it felt good to do something a little different. I must write more slash so I can get better at it! Yeah!

As for this fic, I guess Harry (and maybe Draco abit) is a little OOC and I apologize. Harry's not really one of my favorite characters so I haven't written much with him, but I tried and next time I'll do better. :)

**Challenge:** Five times Draco shouldn't have kissed Harry.

**Disclaimer: **Harry, Draco, and Hedwig belong to Mrs. Rowling. :P

**Warning:** shonen-ai/slash

**Pairing:** Harry/Draco

**Chasing Kisses**

**1.** _**The first time**_- In their first year at Hogwarts, Draco and Harry had definitely bristled against each other after their first meeting. However, despite the words of his father since he'd been old enough to talk, Draco actually had wanted to be friends with The-Boy-Who-Lived. At first, it was out of morbid curiosity but when he first met and talked to Harry, Draco's heartbeat quicken ever so slightly. Eleven was too young to understand love, but he liked how he felt around Harry. So he continued to try and be his friend, despite the initial refusal of his friendship.

In November of their first year, Halloween's events still fresh, Draco had been heading to the Owlery. Though he wouldn't admit it to anyone in the school, Draco had been desperately homesick. He had found some ease in writing to his mother at least twice a week, something he didn't know that he would continue to do well into his fifth year. Narcissa loved her son dearly and missed him as much as Draco hinted he missed her, so she had no qualms against constantly writing to her son. It helped them both with the transition of his being away. Nearing the Owlery on this one particular day, Draco spotted Harry approaching from the opposite direction. On instinct, he stopped in his tracks and waited for Harry to near him. Lost in thought, Harry didn't see Draco, despite passing inches from him. With a grin, Draco stuck his foot out and tripped the oblivious Gryffindor.

Harry stumbled, but managed to keep his balance with flailing arms that grabbed onto whatever was closest - Draco's arm, for example. Doing this, Draco stumbled himself, the letter to his mother falling out of his hands. He quickly reached for it, but Harry had already grabbed it off the floor and was reading the name on the front of the envelope: _Mummy_. Blushing in anger and fury, Draco grabbed the letter from Harry's hand. Not saying a word, Harry only looked at the envelope and when he looked up at Draco, the look in his eyes was pure grief. His anger and embarrassment draining away at the look and he actually felt Harry's grief in his own heart just by his seeing it in the spectacled boy's eyes. Draco reached out his empty hand and grabbed Harry by the front of his robes, pulling him forward. The look of grief mixed with confusion, but Harry did nothing to stop Draco's actions. The Gryffindor's wounds were suddenly too exposed and they left him vulnerable to everything around him. Tears welled in Harry's eyes and Draco took the opportunity to press a soft kiss against his lips.

Of course Draco shouldn't have kissed him, but Harry did little to stop him so it felt alright. After that, it would always feel alright.

**2.** _**In Hogsmeade**_ - Three years later, and though they had both pretended that first kiss hadn't happened, Draco thought about nothing else. Then he saw Harry in Hogsmeade, first with his friends and then wandering about curiously by himself. Draco trailed him awhile, learning nothing new about him, but feeling his heartbeat quicken as it always did when Harry was close by. Fourteen wasn't too young to understand love, but it was young enough to be unsure about it. Though he watched, Draco never had the courage to approach Potter, until he realized that they were both alone, looking at a shabby mansion. He approached Harry, silently at first, then cleared his throat to introduce his presence. Surprised, but suspicious, Harry said nothing, only eyed the blond. Feeling embarrassed, Draco found himself at a loss for words.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry broke the silence.

"You."

It slipped from his mouth without warning. A Freudian slip. Unaware of what to do next, Draco only stared dumbly back at Harry. This time around, Harry grabbed Draco by the front of his robes, but he didn't kiss him. For a long moment, they stood like that, only looking at each other, lips hovering inches apart. Then Draco shoved Harry back, breaking the hold, but just as quickly he pulled Harry back and kissed him roughly, desperately. If they were going to kiss, Draco wanted it to be on his terms. Potter didn't struggle or fight, but he didn't actually kiss back. No, but Draco could sense that Harry was glad and relieved on some level he couldn't even fathom. Pulling away, Draco looked somewhat smug, as Harry turned and spat on the floor.

"Feel better?" Harry asked, meeting blue eyes with his green ones.

"No."

With that, Draco walked away, knowing once again he shouldn't have kissed Harry, but unable to help himself.

**3.** _**At Christmas time**_ - It was almost Christmas, three days before Draco was to return home for the holidays. In their fifth year, Draco had felt the chill of an impending future that suddenly seemed very different then it should have. Things were not right, they hadn't since the whole Triwizard Tournament incident. Over the summer, he had seen the change in his father. He wasn't himself, nervous, always on edge. Lucius smiled at his son but his smile was just a front for the reality of his situation. Draco didn't need to know that, but he felt it like a thick blanket pulled over his family's life.

Of course, he knew about the wild rumors of Voldermolt's return and Harry's harassment. Though Draco didn't know what to believe because he desperately wanted the rumors to be false, for Harry to be making up his allegations. However, things were fitting too neatly to be anything other. Woefully, Draco decided to discredit the rumors, his youthful mind clinging to the idea that his world was not changing in any grand way. Despite the cruel things he did or said, Draco was still only a normal teenage wizard. That's how he preferred it.

As for Harry, Draco caught sight of the dark-haired teen taking a walk outside the castle. He was alone, so Draco took the opportunity to follow him. Although he didn't want to admit why he enjoyed following Harry around, he knew deep down why he did. After all, fifteen was the age that love truly began to take hold in a youth's mind, in understanding and practice. They walked silently through the snow, Harry with Hedwig on his arm, a whole thirty feet away. The owl occasionally looked back at him, but Draco ignored it. It wasn't like the blasted owl could talk and rat him out, could it? Eventually Harry stopped along a row of trees and held his arm up, sending Hedwig up into the chilly evening air. He watched for a moment as the owl hovered for a moment, then took off in the direction of the Forbidden Forest.

"Draco, why are you following me?" Harry called out, still looking up.

Embarrassed, Draco closed the distance between them, stepping up beside Harry and looking up. "It's cold out here, Potter." He said, not wanting to look at him just yet. Though he wasn't looking, he could sense Harry looking at him and he shifted nervously.

"Why do you always play this game? I don't understand you, Malfoy."

"What game am I playing?" Draco snapped, finally meeting Harry's gaze.

"You hate me, but you don't. You've..." Harry paused, looking around before continuing. "You've kissed me. I don't understand what you want from me. Hate me, don't hate me. Which is it?"

Blushing, Draco didn't know what to say. In a way, he didn't know the answer, but he knew that he didn't hate Harry. He knew he should hate him, but Draco couldn't understand why. He'll never be able to understand why he was suppose to hate him. At that time, instead, Draco hesitantly grasped Harry's hand, feeling the tension between them grow. He looked at Harry, the sorrow of his love deeply evident in his expression. Though he knew he shouldn't, in case someone saw, Draco kissed Harry before he could react. This time, for the first time, Harry kissed him back and it almost brought tears to his eyes. Later, when they had pulled away for air, Draco didn't let Harry's hand go for a long while.

**4.** _**After the attack on the Ministry of Magic**_ - Draco knew what happened, everyone did. Hogwarts was abuzz with the attack on the Ministry of Magic and how Harry and gang had been apart of it. Malfoy wasn't yet aware that his father had been hauled off to Azakaban, so he was worried only about Harry. Of course, he wasn't yet aware of his father's activities at all. So when Harry and the gang had returned, he waited hours before Harry finally snuck away from the chaos and questions of the day. Draco wasn't thinking, he barely even waited before he found Harry and pressed his lips against his. It had always felt right before, but suddenly it didn't.

"What is it? What happened?" Draco asked, seeing the pain in Harry's eyes. A horrible, deep, heart-wrenching pain just beyond the smile he had forced ever since he'd returned.

"I can't do this any more." Harry half sobbed, half laughed.

"What?"

"I can't keep living my life, pretending that nothing's wrong. I don't want to be anybody's hero."

"Potter, are you...?" Fear rose in Draco, unexpectedly.

Harry didn't say anything. Only pulled away from Draco and walked away, back to the Gryffindor tower. Draco collapsed in tears, feeling utterly desolate.

**5.** _**The last time**_ - Draco's sixth year was spent in utter fear and terror. He shared it with no one and felt his sanity begin to collapse at the very end of his task. Each moment felt worst then the last, until he found himself locked in the bathroom, vomiting and crying. Sixteen was a fragile age, one where you find that everything is far worst then it really is. Except it really was as bad as Draco was feeling. There was no hope in his life anymore and in less then a year's time, he lost who he had been. There was only one person he still needed, that would never change.

However, Harry was unavailable to him, would be forever. Yet, Draco didn't give up dreaming that perhaps Harry wouldn't continue to ignore him. In a way, his wish was answered when Harry came to save him, Crabbe, and Goyle from being fried to death. At some point, either later that day or some time the next, Draco found himself crying on Harry's shoulder. Begging and pleading for anything and everything. He didn't know what he wanted anymore, or why. Harry could only pat him on the back, but he didn't offer any kind of comfort. That was okay, because Draco only wanted to rant his fear and pain. When he was done, he had dried his face gathering himself.

"Potter, I'm sorry for everything. This will be the last time, I swear."

Draco kissed Harry, lovingly, taking his time to savor and remember just how Harry's mouth tasted. This wasn't their first real kiss, but Draco knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this would be the last. When it was over, Harry actually smiled at him before leaving without a word. The last kiss was probably the best and worst kiss of all their shared kisses because Draco knew he would always want another one. In a way, Draco wished he had never kissed Harry to begin with.

***End***


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